Montauk Monster Mystery is a Wrap!
By Sharon Ainsberg
(Washed Up on Montauk Shore Last Week)
Last Thursday, I was inundated with pictures of some kind of bald, sunburned “monster” found on the beach in Montauk, NY, otherwise known as “Sharon’s home away from home” to almost anyone who knows me. All of the East Deck/Ditch Plains regulars set off a massive email frenzy trying to identify this creature. I was practically in tears myself. This poor hairless thing looked like part bird, part shell-less turtle, part gremlin, part alien; It didn’t look too happy, and my vivid imagination led me to believe it died a horrible death. The pictures were being posted all over generating an insane buzz..begging the question:
Should I add “MONTAUK MONSTER” to my list of SHARON’S IRRATIONAL FEAR OF SEA CREATURES — i.e. SHARKS (Bulls, Tigers and Whites), EELS, JELLIES, PIRANHAS, etc???
My friend Gwen was certain it was an old turtle whose shell had cracked off. I agreed with her. Goddamn good guess, I’d say. My friend Jennilee was too freaked out by its tail to even take a shot at guessing…and Andrew simply replied “What?????”. Enter my friend Kirk, who made my most favorite determination: “Maybe it’s the spawn of a turtle and a dog? You never know …. love’s a crazy thing!”
Well, we can finally put the monster to rest.
Alice Houseknecht, owner of the famous East Deck Motel at Ditch Plains Beach (and where I have spent every summer for the past eight years) finally put our minds at ease. Here’s what she had to say:
“I know, I know…..I’m getting emails about the Montauk Monster from as far away as France! It’s all over the blogs. The picture is creepy I must admit. Turns out it’s been identified as a raccoon, despite the fact that’s it looks more like a giant shell less turtle or a horse. I like the idea of a Montauk Monster however! Sorry that you feel like crying Sharon……I’m an animal lover too. Love from East Deck”
(What “It” Looked Like Before)
Needless to say, I feel much better. Not for the raccoon, but for myself. At least I can stick to my original, irrational list.
-Shaz
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